How To Find A Rental: A Guide for First-Time Renters

So, you’re ready to leave the nest. Aww! How sweet, you are really becoming your own person. Well done for thinking about making a big step forward in your life, here are some tips that you might want to think about.

Finding a house or apartment can be difficult. If you have a friend or person in mind that you want to move out with, it is a good idea to come to an agreement on a few things:

  • Where would you like to live?
  • What is one feature you need?
  • How much would you like to pay?
  • When do you want to move out by?
  • Where do you find a place to rent?

These questions will help both parties, even if you are moving out by yourself, to find potential places. So, we will go a bit more into each of these questions and more below.

Area Matters More

Why do I say this? Well if you are in a house you love, but the area you hate, that can be a problem. Let’s say you’re a beach bum and go to the beach a few times a week. But you go for your dream home that is an hour from the closest beach. If you make a compromise and find a place that you would still be happy to live in but is only a 20 min walk from a beach. You’ll enjoy your time there much more.

So, a good idea is to have a few suburbs in mind, don’t get too fixated on one area, because you might miss some golden opportunities a few suburbs away. For me, I just wanted some nice parks and hills, and where we have landed is just right.

What Is A Feature You Need?

Like to cook? A big kitchen is a must then. Have a large energetic dog? A big backyard might do it some good. Like to throw gatherings? A larger living space might be better for you (maybe not at the moment with this Corvid-19 going round). The point is, that whatever you enjoy doing in your spare time you will have to account for a space that will allow you to do that.

So, when looking for a place, if it doesn’t have your “need” stop looking and move on to the next one. Because if you go with a place that doesn’t have that one feature you will not enjoy living in it as much as you would a place that does have that big kitchen or that large living space.

Give Yourself A Min and A Max

Agree on a minimum amount that you would be happy to pay, and a maximum you would be willing to pay. Usually, somewhere around 30% of your income is standard, obviously, you can choose to reduce that down to 20% of your income or increase it to 35%, but no more, as you might not be able to afford food! The point is to be flexible.

You can use some simple maths to help you figure it out. Let’s say that you earn $800 a week, 30% of that can be found using this method:

800 divided by 10, which will give you 80. Then 80 multiplied by 3 = $240 a week

(For all you maths geeks: (weekly income/10) * 3 = weekly rent

If you earn $1000 a week, your weekly rent should be around $300.

Alright, I hear you, enough with the numbers. Of course, this will help give you an idea about what you can comfortably afford. If you are studying and not working you will have to do some massaging of the numbers. But there is Government assistance available here in Australia. You should be able to find other similar government-assisted programs in your country of living.

I won’t lie, I am in a good spot and are very lucky with where I am. I can hear people complaining right now. “But Carlos, I don’t have money to move out to a place I want to live.” I get it, I have been there. I have been the student with no money, that’s why I stayed at home for so bloody long. This post is not about money, its about finding a place you can enjoy for an extended period of time. With friends or by yourself. I might cover in a later post about how to save and organise your money.

Moving on!

Set A Date

This will help determine if you can take your time or not in finding a place. It also keeps you accountable. It gives you a date to have all your shit together. All your kitchen utensils, all your laundry gear, shelves, bookcase, your wardrobe, and that guitar you never play. All the things you probably won’t think about. It’s okay I’ll be making a list of the things you need for each area of your apartment or house at some point. For those who have moved out, what are some things every house needs?

Finding Your Rental

Okay, so you have your list of suburbs that you like the look of, you have your one essential feature, you have your budget and you have your date. Now, how to find a damn place.

So, there are several sites that display rental properties. Our housemate found ours on realestate.com.au, but you can find yours through your local real estate site, like domain.com.au, rent.com, apartments.com, forrent.com, etc.

So, what helps here is to create a list, realestate.com have a favourites function, where you can create a shortlist of properties. A list of properties that you, either by yourself or with your housemates, will go to inspect. Contact each of the agents, either by phone or by an online application to set up an inspection time and date.

The rest is somewhat straight forward. If you like the place and it fits your given criteria, put in an application. Then all you can do is hope that you get the one you want.

What You Need for Your Application

Here a list of things you will need for a standard application form:

  1. Your personal details:
    1. Name, email, number, driver’s license, passport, current address
  2. Rental history:
    1. Why you are leaving your current address?
    2. Any previous rental address, landlord or agents name, and weekly rent paid
  3. Employment history:
    1. Current occupation, employers name, contact name and details
    2. Previous, their contact details.
  4. Most forms will have a student only section:
    1. Place of study, course length, course contact, Parents name and contact details.
  5. References:
    1. In case of emergency
    2. Personal references, usually 2.
  6. Other information
    1. Make/Type of car
    2. Any pets

Bonus Tips

Here are some tips for finding and securing a rental property:

  1. Don’t believe the pictures, it’s amazing what a good photo can do. But a photo is just that! Go see it in person, you might have a different idea about what you could do with the space once you are there. This can go both ways too, sometimes photos may not do a place justice.
  2. If you have made your list of places you’d be happy with and put in a few applications. Go with the first one you get.
  3. Try to get some midweek viewing in, you never know how it might turn out. Also, there will be far less competition. And don’t be surprised if you go to a Saturday inspection with 20 other people attending. Let’s say that you go to the inspection on a Wednesday, apply the same day, then get approved Friday. You have just snuck in before anyone else has been able to look at it.
  4. Be proactive, contact agents. Give them a call, I know it can be nerve-wracking, but it’ll put you ahead of the pack by creating that human connection. Not just some words on a screen. It is also a good idea to ask them if you could see the property mid-week, or if they could advise of any other properties in the area.
  5. Have all your application information ready. Why? Not only will you not be trying to dig up the information and wasting precious time. You can bring along some application forms to inspections and fill them out there and then, hand them to the agent, and boom, front of the line right there. (A full application that has been thoroughly filled out, that the agent can’t fault will often do better than one that has been half-arsed.)
  6. Be polite. I know this kinda goes without saying, but its just the right thing to do. Real estate agents are people too you know.

Hope this helps you find and secure a rental property, just know that there is always help around the corner. If you have already moved out let me know if you have any other tips for first-time renters.

Enjoy the journey.

Carlos

Things I wish I knew before My Japan trip.

A quick couple of tips from what we have learnt in our first week in Japan. *Please note that we are travelling around the start of March, winter is finishing up and spring is rounding the corner.*

  1. Simple phrases.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, excuse me, sorry, thank you and Where is (insert place)? These have been our most used in our first week of travelling around Japan, all not essential since most of the time you can get your message across and people are happy to help in any way they can. Using the phone as a way to communicate has been nice, often pulling out the good-old google translate using the conversation button to assist. However, nothing brings more of a smile to the locals when you try and do your best to say hello and ask questions using Japanese. Plus learning a bit of a language always is a nice skill to have. Below I will add the translations and pronunciation.

  • Good morning: O ha yo(go zai mas).

  • Good afternoon: Kon ni chi wa.

  • Good evening: Kom ban wa.

  • Excuse me: su mi ma sen.

  • Sorry: go men na sai.

  • Thank you: a ri ga to.

  • Goodbye: sa yo na ra.

  • Where is (insert place or thing)?: (insert place or thing) wa do ko des ka?

(I recommend buying a little pocket phrase and translation book. see picture below)

2. Bring a decent rain jacket/coat.

Our first day walking around Sakura before we left Tokyo for Sapporo, it pissed down, absolutely bucketed down. Had we not packed them for our snow trip we would’ve been looking a lot like drowned rats. We both used Kathmandu 2-in-1, a shell and inner insulation, handy since for when it starts to get hotter as we move more away from winter into spring we can take out the inliner but still be on the dryer side using the shell. Of course, keep in mind we are travelling in winter and the start of spring when there is a bit more rain, this item can be omitted when travelling in summer.

3. Bring some decent walking shoes.

Like most countries, Japan has a lot to offer in terms of sightseeing and things to do, which usually means either getting some form of transport or if you want to take the more scenic (and cheaper) route, lots of walking. Which means to keep those feet happy you will need some comfortable shoes, and if you need them, some decent orthotics. Both I and my partner have been wearing our Under Armour sneakers, which have been great for the feat, lightweight and breathable… which also makes them not so waterproof. So far they have been holding up quite well otherwise.

4. Always have some cash, in notes and coins.

I was told many times by people who had been to Japan to always carry cash, I didn’t quite take it on board. Thinking “oh yeah, we should be able to use card most places.” We got caught out one night in Sapporo on a bus, we had no coins and one 10,000yen note, after spending our last couple of 1000 on dinner. The bus would only take 1000yen notes or coins luckily the driver let us off with a free fare. From then we have made sure to have enough cash. Order of things to do when you land in Japan: Go to the atm, use your notes, keep a fair amount of coins, buy something where you can store these said coins. You’ll be right after that.

5. For a cheap meal, 7/11 or other convenience stores.

You can get a decent feed for very little money. My girlfriend and I usually spend around 1500 yen ($19AUD) for a meal and a dessert each. The best part, its actually really decent Japanese food, well by Aussie standards. It’s always nice knowing that you can walk less than 10 minutes in any direction in any city and there will be a store with some goodies at any time of day. It has been a life-saver when we are pushing our daily budget.

6. Pretty much everything is bang on time.

This has been amazing, the bus rocks up when it says, and the train stops in the designated position on the platform at the designated time. No catching the wrong bus and getting lost. However, this has meant we have needed to be a bit more punctual (not always a bad thing), and we have had to run to make it a few times(not always fun).

I hope you have enjoyed reading a few of these tips, and hope they help you plan your own trip to Japan. If you have been to Japan, what are some of your tips that I’ve left off this list?

-Carlos

Annoyed? You could be the problem.

Two days into our Japanese trip and I am already kicking myself for doing the thing that I said that I would try and not do. Getting angry at my better half for petty little things. I know that usually, I would have let the annoyances build up and dictate my mood. Unfortunately, I slipped into those old habits only briefly today. Of course, the things that I find annoying are not the problem, I am. So, I am taking a good hard look at the reflection staring back at me and seeing that I still have a long way to go. This is a letter to all those in the same boat as me. If you find yourself frustrated by things that people do around you, it isn’t them, it’s you. This may be news to some, but yes you are the problem.

“But they just cut me off it’s my god-given right to be angry at this dickhead in front of me.” I hear you cry. What if they were rushing to take a loved one to the hospital, or maybe they just didn’t see you. Ultimately you can not change what has happened, you can not influence the person’s decision. Often the only thing you can control is the time it takes you to choose your response and your ensuing actions. I could have stayed mad and frustrated and let my emotions take hold, which I will confess for about an hour they did. (which would have ruined the rest of the day and possibly the trip. However, once I recognised that I was being unfair and looked at the emotions dictating my actions and deconstructed the petty reasons I was feeling them. I could then ultimately feel them, understand them and apologise to my partner for being shitty.

After an hour of stewing and a quick nap before take-off, I remembered a line from a book I read, “emotions like everything, will too pass” (or something along those lines). As with most of my writings and posts, it’s as much about me delivering to the reader as it is about reminding myself of the things I have learnt and must keep doing to be a better human. So, if you feel frustrated with someone in your life, maybe take a look at yourself and try to determine why you feel that way about them, and really try to get to the source, it is more than likely you instead of them.

Thank you for reading,

Carlos

5-takeaways: The 80/20 Principle, Richard Koch

First 5TA for the year! I will be covering this gem that has been staring at me from my bookshelf since I got it almost a year ago. The 80/20 Principle is a book that is based on the Pareto Law, first discovered by Vilfredo Pareto, an Italian economist. Who noticed patterns on wealth and income distributions in nineteenth-century England. Where on average the mathematical relationship between the total population and the total wealth was about 20% of the population held about 80% of the wealth. Pareto’s other finding was that the pattern of 80/20 repeated itself whenever he looked at data referring to a different time or a different country. However, He never fully realized that the principle could be applied to a lot more than just wealth and income distribution. A number of other great thinkers throughout the remaining and next centuries rediscovered and advanced the principle. Richard Koch, a former management consultant, and entrepreneur, just so happens to be the writer that brings the principle to the masses. The book is an easy read and Koch explains the principle well, using relevant examples and giving different ways to utilize the 20% of the effort that translates into 80% of the results in other aspects of business and life. The book is a great read and I hope I can provide a little insight into the principle and how you can utilize it.

  1. 20% causes provide 80% results.

A classic use of the 80/20 principle, is on business clients, 20% of whom provide 80% of the revenue. Most businesses could determine these numbers quite easily. Where are their efforts wasted or not well used on lesser clients that don’t provide enough compensation, let’s say like in terms of they have larger projects in the pipeline. So, in practice out of the remaining 80% of clients that only provide 20% of revenue, and if only half have notable future projects, you could remove 40% of total clientele and then the business would be able to free up time for new clients or double-down on current ones. This also translates into products produced or services provided. 20% of products or services generate 80% of revenue. This is very counterintuitive, you would think that having a variety of products, you would see a relative relationship directly proportional to the amount of items provided.

“The 80/20 Principle states that there is an inbuilt imbalance between causes and results, inputs and outputs, and effort and reward. Typically, causes, inputs or effort divide into two categories:

  • The majority, that have little impact.
  • A small minority, that have a major, dominant impact.”

Of course, this rule of 80/20 doesn’t just apply to business, as I will relate in other takeaways.

  1. 80/20 doesn’t have to equal 100 or is strictly 80/20

This was one of my misguided interpretations when I initially came across the principle. I thought that: a) the sets of data had to equal 100% and b) that the relationship was fixed at 80% to 20%. Koch notes that both of these aren’t integral parts of the principle. 80/20 is just an easy way to name the disproportionate relationship between the causes and the results, the relationship could be 65/35 or 90/1. One such example from the book below.

“One of the most dramatic examples of the 80/20 Principle at work is with movies. Two economists made a study of the revenues ad lifespans of 300 movies released over an 18-month period. They found that four movies – just 1.3 percent of the total – earned 80 percent of box office revenues.”

Koch notes that one limitation of the 80/20 Principle is that it is only a snapshot of the time when the data was collected. However, Koch does relate the 80/20 Principle to Chaos Theory, which states that outcomes are based on ’sensitive dependence on initial conditions’. So the chance that the first company to the market is going to be the biggest at a later date is massive compared to a new-comer. Not only will larger companies hold most of the market value, but they will also gain more and more of the market. A great example is Coca-Cola, one of the first to the market, and now holds 48.6% of the market share, imagine that one company owns almost half of the market. Let’s say that there are 100 cola companies total, that’s a 49/1, this stat is neither is 80/20, nor does it equal 100%, yet it is significantly skewed.

  1. 80/20 your Money.

Typically, 80% of your wealth will come from a small percentage of your activities. For myself, 100% of my money comes from one activity, my job. Similarly, if you look at someone like Warrant Buffett, most of his wealth comes from a small part of his investments, I would hazard a guess that’s its stocks. Speaking of stocks, we can use our new-found knowledge on it. Koch has some wise words on wealth, “You are more likely to become wealthy, or to obtain the greatest increase in wealth, from investment income rather than from employment income.” So, what should you do with most of your money? Around 20% of your money (of course this can be more or less depending on your personal & financial situations)? Save and invest.  And of that 20%, most of it should be put into long term investments, otherwise known as blue-chip shares, a good place to park the money is in an index fund. Koch describes what compound interest is, how it works and why you should use it to your advantage. I won’t go into it as it needs another post of its own, I can suggest looking it up, or playing around with some values on a compound interest calculator(which can be found here.

  1. 80/20 your Time and the rest.

Do you ever feel like you waste a lot of your day away? I know I do, whether I get sucked into social media browsing, or a youtube/Netflix binge, or doing things I don’t feel are productive or things that I don’t enjoy. Now, some things are very necessary, such as work and sleep, these will take up more of your time. But the rest of your time can be 80/20’ed. There are 168 hours in a week if we say that you work a 40hour week, and sleep for 8 hours a day, you are left with 72 hours, if you factor in travel to and from work and eating we’ll say that your left with 50 hours (being conservative). Of these 50 hours, you may only really enjoy doing 20% of the things that you do, or 20% of the people you see. So to get more out of your time break down what goals you want and, track your time and see where you are losing it. There are many ways to do this and find one that works for you, I often use a technique called time blocking, which I wrote about here. Once you’ve done that go out and achieve those goals. See more of the friends or family members you want to see, or you could optimize your time to learn a new skill, start a business or a blog, get to the gym more. Of course, all of these things will lean toward something that you enjoy. You could 80/20 your spare time for happiness if you so desire. You might even go so far as removing work altogether (not advised if you have another way to bring in money) or finding work that you enjoy (recommended).

  1. Change your mode of thinking.

Koch really does get into how effective the 80/20 principle is outside of finance and business, once the basics are understood and the reader can start thinking with the imbalanced required. This was maybe a bit easier for me as I had already been introduced to this mode of thinking by the likes of Tim Ferriss and Gary Keller. I had been meaning to get the knowledge from the source, and this is my biggest takeaway. The universe and the world is not fair and most likely never will be, things will always improve, but the balance of 80/20 will remain. Instead of worrying about how life isn’t fair and you feel downtrodden, try and make your own life 80/20, try and break out of the social norms that you have grown accustomed to. Instead of thinking about things in the standard direct cause and effect way, start to think 80/20, as Koch describes below:

“To engage in  80/20 thinking, we must constantly ask ourselves: what is the 20 percent that is leading to 80 percent? We must never assume that we automatically know what the answer is, but take some time to think creatively about it. What are the vital few inputs or causes, as opposed to the trivial many?”

Change is hard, going into the unknown is difficult, but with discipline, you can develop a habit, and with time the habit will become a lifestyle choice. I am trying to make 80/20 a lifestyle choice, I would love if you could join me.

Koch has produced a gem of a book, that has inspired many who use it for their own businesses and personal lives. The 80/20 principle teaches its readers that 50/50 is incredibly rare, often if you can figure out what the small minority that has a huge impact is, you will be able to maximize your time, money, and happiness towards achieving your goals and life visions. As usual, I will leave you with a powerful quote from the book.

“The greatest thing about the 80/20 principle is that you do not need to wait for everyone else. You can start to practice it in your professional and personal life. You can take your own small fragments of greatest achievement, happiness, and service to others and make them a much larger part of your life… You can become a better, more useful and happier human being. And you can help others to do the same.”

Thanks for reading.

See you on the mats.

-Carlos

5-takeaways:12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.

I’ll start by saying this, I do not agree with all of whatDr. Peterson says, however, A LOT, if not all, of what he has written in this book is very useful information and some of the rules are great guidelines to live by. One of the rules that makes this list is related to this topic of “because you may dislike someone’s viewpoints doesn’t mean that everything they say should now be dismissed.” (Rule 9: Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.) There are a lot of things he says that I disagree with, including his view of mother/father parenting being the best way to raise a child, I know a few who have been raised by single mothers, or a lesbian or gay couples who are fantastic people, and I know of horrible people who have been brought up in the more traditional mother/father parenting dynamic. Still though I like a lot of what he talks about. One of the main reasons that I was drawn to and am interested in what Dr. Peterson has to say is his point that before pointing blame others or a system that does not favor you, first focus on the things that are in your control. Don’t give something or someone else control over the outcome of your life, otherwise, you will forever be powerless in the face of any chaos. That helpless feeling can be a very taxing one, one that can be debilitating, even fatal. The following list is my 5-takeaways (or top 5 rules in this case)of 12 Rules for Life, hope you too can take something away.

1. Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

Peterson uses many religious stories throughout the book, she has studied the psychology of the many archetypical stories found throughout the Bible and a few other religious texts. He also touches on a variety of literature and movies, including Disney classics and works from notable thinkers like Nietzsche, Solzhenitsyn, and Descartes. One such reference that stood out was T. S. Eliot’s explanation of a character in his play The CocktailParty, who “is not having a good time of it.” And Peterson’s take on it, as follows:

                “She speaks of her profound unhappiness to a psychiatrist. She says she hopes that all her suffering is her own fault. The psychiatrist is taken aback. He asks why. She has thought long and hard about this, she says, and has come to the following conclusion: if it’s her fault, she might be able to do something about it. If it’s God fault, however – if reality itself is flawed, hell-bent on ensuring her misery – then she is doomed. She couldn’t change the structure of reality itself. But maybe she could change her own life.”

As a human being, you have sole responsibility of your attitude towards life, and if you can take on the burden of knowing that your outcome is dictated by your actions then you can make a start of improving, not only your life but the lives of those around you. Peterson is famous for saying “clean up your room,” in his Alberta-Canadian accent. This is not meant in a “do as your told,” way, it is meant as a, “start with something small that is easily available and achievable” way. Then once you have cleaned up your room, move on to the rest of the house, and bit by bit, if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, even in the face of setbacks, slowly your life will be more in order. Leading on to the next rule.

2. Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

This is something that I constantly struggle with, I wish that I could be traveling more, or I could own a few houses already, or be a business owner. Whatever it is I forget that the person that I desperately want to be worked hard to get to where they are now. That for my own self-esteem, the comparison does not have the desired effect. When I get reminded that I am on my own path and that I should use the person’s success as motivation for what I could become, that’s when I focus on being better than the me of yesterday, it might be in the gym, or learning something new, sorting out my life in some fashion. That is when I move forward, one step at a time. Knowing full well that I need to put in the work and have the dedication to persist in the task.

“You are discovering who you are, and what you want, and what you are willing to do. You are finding that the solutions to your particular problems have to be tailored to you, personally and precisely. You are less concerned with the actions of other people because you have plenty to do yourself.”

Of course, to improve you must see the faults that you need to work on. To not see your flaws means that you are the perfect human and that you have nothing to work on. Which would be a lie, not only do you have to make constant adjustments in yourself for your well-being but for the well-being of those around you. Of course, you can lie to yourself and those around you that everything is fine, however, your internal voice/subconscious will become louder as you keep lying, and deeper you will fall into a pit that only you will be able to drag yourself out of.

3. Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.

If I could write out most of this chapter I would, but then I might be up for plagiarism. Peterson uses a lot of religious and personal anecdotes of patients or clients that have come to his practice. However, if you only take one thing from this it would be the paragraph below:

“As God himself claims(so goes the story), “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”According to this philosophy, you do not simply belong to yourself. You are not simply your own possession to torture and mistreat. This is partly because your being is inexorably tied up with that of others, and your mistreatment of yourself can have catastrophic consequences for others. This is most clearly evident, perhaps, in the aftermath of suicide, when those left behind are often both bereft and traumatized. But, metaphorically speaking there is also this: you have a spark of the divine in you, which belongs not to you, but to God. Weare after all – according to Genesis – made in His image. We have the these-divine capacity for consciousness. Our consciousness participates in the speaking forth of Being. We are low-resolution (“kenotic”) versions of God. We can make order from chaos – and vice versa – in our way, with our words. So, we may not exactly be God, But we’re exactly nothing, either.”

I know it’s a lot to take in, however, the words have that kind of remembered-truth, “remembered” in the sense that deep down every human knows that they have the potential to be great or do great things. All anyone has to do is treat themselves with the respect that they would give to the person that they could become, not the person they were or are currently.

4. Rule 12: Pet a Cat When You Encounter one on the street.

Suffering is part and parcel of Being, Being in the sense of the state of existing or existence. At any point in life, either you yourself are struggling or a loved one is. Very rarely, and I would say that close to never has there been a point in my life when neither I nor a close friend or family member was dealing with some obstacle. I currently have no ailments; however, a close family friend is currently battling cancer for the third time. And yet, somehow, through all his and his families suffering, he still has the attitude he has always had, one of never giving up, one of child-like wonder and humor and a thorough love of life. He may not know it fully, but the impact that he has on many is almost as large as his personality. Peterson touches on his daughter’s life-long degenerative joint disease and how it has impacted him, how he could have cursed the world and human existence, yet faced with the limitation of being – suffering is the limitation placed on humans– Peterson understood that suffering is a part of living, much like Viktor Frankl in his classic, Man’s Search for meaning.

“If you are already everything, everywhere, always, there is nowhere to go and nothing to be. Everything that could happen already has. And it is for this reason, so the story goes, that God created man. No limitations, no story. No story, no Being.”

Make a story, despite your limitations. Always remember though, that when an opportunity arises, to pat a dog or cat, or do something to distract you from all the sorrow life has to offer, only for a little while.“Maybe you can steal ten or twenty minutes to do some little ridiculous thing that distracts you or reminds you that you can laugh at the absurdity of existence.”

5. Rule 9: Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.

If you remember this is the rule I mentioned in the intro, and this I reckon is one of the more important rules Peterson lays out in the book. I myself struggled with this one growing up, I still check myself sometimes especially when meeting someone new, or someone who I have heard about from friends or family. Which as awful as it sounds, a lot of people will unknowingly make biased assessments of people and will automatically either give their undivided attention or completely disregard everything they say. The chance that they know something you don’t is higher than you think. Obviously, this goes the other way too, so when mutual respect of the other person’s knowledge is achieved, the conversation can become a more productive one, the where common ground can be established.

The other point of this rule is to listen, not think about how you will retort and flatten their argument with something witty, but to actually listen. Listen with the intent of taking in what the other person is saying. Peterson includes a Carl Rodgers quote that I thought was an interesting take on this topic.

“The great majority of us cannot listen; we find ourselves compelled to evaluate, because listening is too dangerous. The first requirement is courage, and we do not always have it.”

I know what you’re thinking, how could listening be dangerous? Well, the danger hides in your own insecurities, maybe you’re not right, maybe you are completely wrong. The main danger, however, is not in being wrong, but having your outlook or views changed, and these may be views that you hold so dear and close that they hold up part of your personality. Continuing:

“some of you may be feeling that you listen well to people, and that you have never seen such results. The chances are that your listening has not been of the type I have described.”

Everyone thinks that they are good listeners, I know I did until I started really trying to pay attention when speaking to people. Oh how wrong I was, I always would try to come up with an “I’m-better-than-you” retort, or be extremely dismissive of what they had to say. Straw manning their point of view. Definitely not a great way to listen. Peterson notes that the form of listening that Rodgers suggest is one where you repeat the person’s argument back to them, at a standard that they see fit. This does two things, you listen, but you understand their point of view.

As I have said, Peterson is not everyone’s cup of tea, but he is very good at translating complex ideas for those of us who have no prior background in psychology or mythology. The life advice found throughout the book is amazing and the 12 rules can be used as great guidelines to navigate the chaos and suffering. If you have no idea who Jordan Peterson is and enjoyed this article I can definitely recommend looking him up, his lectures can bewatch on YouTube and on multiple podcasts, such as the Joe Rogan Experience and the Jocko Podcast. I hope you enjoyed my 5 takeaways of Peterson’s book, 12Rules for Life.

See ya on the mats.

~Carlos

Role models and getting shit done.

Just do it. Why is it such a compelling statement/bit of advertising? Why do people look up to those who achieve greatness or those who just get shit done? Most likely it would be for that very reason. They get shit done. A lot of people, including myself, don’t start due to some reason or obstacle that they place in front of themselves. I know personally that I fear failure and can become anxious at the thought of what people may think or even expect of me. I have found that I often fall into the ‘paralysis by analysis’ category of people. Over analyzing and planning what I am going to do, or the possible outcomes, then not choosing any or completing anything. I have learnt only recently that to overcome this ‘paralysis’ or fear I must start doing. One of my biggest role models for this has been my girlfriend.

After house-sitting for a friend, who has an amazing veggie garden, she decided to go ahead and start her own. Buying plants, a raised garden bed, sourcing some free soil on facebook marketplace and putting it all together in a matter of days. The only help she asked for was for me to help her pick up the soil, the rest was all her. Yes, it’s only a garden bed, but I take a lot of inspiration from little things. It might be a mate, who after blowing out his ACL (anterior cruciate ligament), planned a hiking trip in South America and a year later was back on the mountain skiing. It could be one of my best mates having a go at his dream, and even with setbacks still pursuing it. I don’t think a lot of people realize that they will always have the ability to dream and achieve. I know I still need reminding that not everything will happen right away. However, nothing will happen if I keep planning.

So, back to the question of why people look up to or draw inspiration from high achievers, like your Mark Cubans, or Will Smiths, or Gretta Van Riels. Personally, I look up to these type of people as they have characteristics and habits that I know I can and should pursue. Hard work ethic, Self-disciplined, Honest, knowledge seeking, the list goes on. Maybe, it might be for some that they look up to them, despite knowing that they will never truly put in the work for that level of success. Maybe, they understand the amount of hard work done and that is why they admire them? Maybe it’s like how the underdog is, more often than not, the crowd favorite, the dark horse, the once great champ that has fallen from the throne yet still aims to climb back to the top.

Muhammad Ali is a great example of this. Ali was stripped of his Heavyweight belt and slapped with a three-year ban during the prime of his career, for draft evasion during the Vietnam war. After having his boxing license reinstated, Ali would take 7 years to regain the Heavyweight belt, against heavy favorite George Foreman with an 8th-round knockout. This kind of fairy-tale story, that in effect mimics parts of life is something that most can get around. Knowing that there is hope, for when we do crash, or end up in a rut, that we can get out of it and build up again. So, for those of you out there, keep grinding, and keep drawing on other’s wins to produce your own.

See you on the mats!

-Carlos

If you are struggling with depression or find yourself in a rut, please actively seek help, there are a lot of organizations that can assist, like www.headspace.org.au, www.ruok.org.au, www.lifeline.org.au, www.beyondblue.org.au.

 

Success Patterns Can Be Found in All Things

If some of you have been following me recently you will know that I have started up archery after getting a compound bow for my birthday. And with starting something new I will usually draw on other experiences and what I can relate it too. This characteristic is something all of us do, whether we consciously do it or not. When we find patterns we create our own models from these patterns, that could be found through exploration or from learning it from an outside source. Why do we look for patterns to add to our model? Well simply for survival, maybe we can cover that in another post. But, in this case, I’m about to talk about. It’s for the sake of becoming better at something new.

So, shooting a projectile with a string attached to a stick is something very new to me. I never made my own bow as a kid, nor have I shot a rifle or firearm before. Growing up in the suburbs of Melbourne the closest thing to a rifle I had was nerf guns. Not exactly high tech. So, I really don’t know what I’m doing, I have a small understanding of it. Pull the arrow back and let it go, but as green as you can get. So, I go in for my first lesson (down at Aim Archery Moorabbin), get taught the basics, finger placement, how to aim, the arc trajectory of a recurve bow (also known as tradition bow), anchor points, range safety, etc. If you do make the way down to the range George is a great teacher, spends his time with you and really gets you to improve over the session.

However, you won’t improve if you don’t listen and be the student. Here is one pattern that I have noticed in my performance when starting new things. If I am listening and really paying attention to what is being taught, then I will improve at a higher rate. For instance, when I was learning Spanish at university I never really paid attention, I would either be chatting with friends or on my phone. This is no way to learn something, if you want to perform and advance you have to be willing to learn. So, be open to criticism, correct your form, and try again. Someone else can’t learn it for you. When you are a good student, often the teacher will be more attentive to you, I saw this with a kid at high school, He would show interest and ask a lot of questions, he would often get a lot more attention from the teacher. Not because the teacher hated every other student, it’s just that they found the easiest mind to teach.

Anchor points are a big part of archery, especially if you want to get consistent results. Anchor points, are reference points that you use when at full draw for proper sight alignment. The most common points archer’s use and string touching the tip of the nose, the webbing between the thumb and pointer finger and a kisser button (a small loop on the string that meets the corner of the lip.) They allow you to pull the bow back, find your points, sight the target and release. Nevertheless, they will not work if you aren’t consistent with the placement of them. Which, is another pattern I have noticed for the relative success of the task or subject you are learning. Consistency will produce results, either good or bad. If you are consistently setting on your anchor points, your arrow will fly true, then it is only a matter of adjusting your sight. If your anchor points are changing constantly then you will get consistently poor results. Of course, the other part of consistency is to practice.

Often when shooting, I can sometimes throw myself off, either I get a bit too big headed after nailing the bull’s eye and punch (to stuff up) my next shot or I focus on the mistake of the previous shot and punch it again. My most recent lesson has produced a bit of wisdom from George, after two bad shots in a row, I was a bit annoyed with myself and expressed it with George, he told me, “You can only focus on the arrow you have nocked (arrow currently ready to shoot).” And this is something that carries into other disciplines, BJJ, you can only focus on the current technique or position and the escapes, sweeps, and submissions possible. Like in blacksmithing, for better results, focus on each hit, one at a time, each heat.

Just some thoughts and patterns I have noticed and experienced in multiple disciplines, that can be applied to all aspects of life, career, study, gym, martial arts, relationships, whatever else you can think of. If you want to learn quickly and get better results sooner, then try to find similarities between how you have succeeded in past pursuits and apply what you have learned there to your new career, hobby or passion. And a quote from the great swordsman Miyamoto Musashi.

If you know the Way broadly, you will see it in everything.”

Cya on the mats!

Carlos

4 things to do while injured

Well, unfortunately, I have injured myself, after having gone through the year with minimal damage my luck has run out. That leaves me only doing upper body in the gym, mostly off the mats, and shooting my bow. So, with all this extra time that would otherwise be used on either gym or BJJ, I have decided to make a list of 5 things to do when limited by an injury. I am going to assume that you have already been to a specialist for your injury, this list is more about how you go about

  1. Work with what you got.

First and for most, do what you can. If you have a pulled hammy, focus on working on your upper body, if you have an injured rotator cuff, focus on leg exercises. When drilling or rolling, use only one hand or leg. However, do not push yourself to cause further injury. If doing something has the chance of severely affecting the injured area, I would suggest to not do it until once the area starts to get closer to 100%

  1. Do as much as you can to heal.

SEE A SPECIALIST FIRST… and do the exercises they give you. This is something that a lot of people don’t do. I didn’t when I was younger, I would be given exercises or treatments by the physiotherapist. However, I wouldn’t do them as I felt that the injury wasn’t getting better after one or two days of doing them. Now, I tend to do them as recommended by the physio, and upping the difficulty as the injury heals. For my current injury, a strained/pulled hamstring, I have been rolling out my quads, calves and IT Band (Iliotibial Band) to relieve the tension that each group is placing on the hamstring. When dealing with strain injuries one of the worst things you can do it stretch. As a strain is a slight tear of the muscle when you stretch the tear will worsen as it’s the weakest point in the muscle, a critical point of failure so to speak. Stretching when not injured however is a must to help prevent injury.

  1. Spend time on another hobby.

Try to look at the positive. If your injury limits you in one aspect of a hobby the work on another hobby. With my current situation, I have been shooting my bow more and getting in some good practice. I have been able to spend more time reading books and giving more time to this blog.

Your injury may leave you not being able to do any of your hobbies. So, my answer, pick up a new one, might be origami, could be learning a new language, whatever you think you will enjoy and will be challenged by.

  1. Learn a new life skill.

You got so much time on your hands, do something productive. Sounds boring I know but could learn more about finance, or how to cook, or maybe you could look into research about your injury and on how to treat and prevent it. Learn how to write code, how to bake, or maybe how to build a business.

 

A short post today, if you are currently injured and have taken something useful from this that’s awesome and I wish you a speedy recovery. Thanks for reading.

Cya on the mats.

Change and Growth

I have written about change before. Relating change and how often we fear it and how to combat the fear by coming up with our worst-case scenario and then deconstructing it. Fear-setting as described by Tim Ferris. I pretty much wanted to share with people something I had found to be useful. However, this post will be more personal as I will recount how I have been able to utilize change and take on the challenge of loving change.

Like I have said before change is inevitable, life is always constantly changing. You may hear news of a family member having their first child, you may hear an old acquaintance just passed away, you may have been fired from your job, your sister or brother may have just started playing gigs with their band. All of these things are changes, some the people have little to zero say in them, other times they have all the power in their hands to make the decision to change. However, in both cases, It is still up to the individual on how they perceive their current reality. Take for instance the person who just lost their job, they have multiple options on how they react and the ultimate decision they take. They could turn to the bottle and begin the downward spiral into depression, or they could use the lack of a job as a sign to look into other careers. Ultimately it is up to them what path they take. This in itself is the scariest part of change, knowing that no one else can make the choice for you, which is why often to avoid the decision people tend to walk the wrong path. Not because they chose it, but because they didn’t choose to take a different one.

In change, this is where we can find growth. Growth does not come from sitting idle, it comes from overcoming obstacles. Through my teen years, I did not understand this fully, I didn’t understand that being idle and sitting on the bus of life, so to speak, will not allow me to grow or where I want to be in life. The bus will take me to a destination that I may not necessarily like, to the wrong side of town that I will be more likely to drown in than to flourish. My dad often used this bus analogy to explain life, if you don’t like the bus your on, get off and get on the one you want, you may even have to go back to a previous destination to get to the one you do want to go to. Once I realized that a science degree was not for me, I got off that bus and worked for a bit, then I went back to school and have now arrived at a destination that I like a fair bit better.

I strongly believe that the times that we grow the most are in times of challenge and change. One, you can use those hurdles as an example that you can overcome the trials now before you, and two, that you can use them as stepping stones to take on more of life. Of course, you are not the only one overcoming things, and people before you have already overcome your current challenge. A big part of my growth has been seeking out people who have already walked the path I want to walk down and talking to, listening or reading about them, and see how I could incorporate the knowledge gained to my own experiences. If you find the task of choosing the first/next person you read about, my advice is: pick the two you want to read about the most, flip a coin, if you don’t like the outcome initially pick the other.

What do I do when my life changes and I don’t like the new situation I’m in? From my experience, it depends on the situation. When I was having tests done to see if they could find more tumors, the only thing I could control was my attitude toward everything. I would make my best effort to always smile while in hospital, always try to either make someone laugh or laugh at my circumstances. The key was making the situation a positive one. After all, I wouldn’t have a say in the results, the only thing I could have a say in was to go through with the precautionary surgery. In terms of not enjoying my new job initially, I once again took control of how I perceived the situation, I looked at the good things and found a way to make it enjoyable. So, overall, I would say, that no matter the situation you find yourself in. Find something in it to make it enjoyable or rewarding, focus on the small positives that you may find and amplify them. You can control the perspective you use to look at the world. My recommendation, choose the positive one.

Thanks for reading.

Cya on the mats.

~Carlos

Why the change?

I have recently changed the name of the site to carlosygoa.com since I felt that readnroll.blog limited me in what I could and could not post about, I am in no way shape or form moving away from what I have been doing. This is just an update about the change. I Hope that you all understand.

Thanks

Carlos